He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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