he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
