she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
