naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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