I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How naked do you want me to be?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
