i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
