jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
