Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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