I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Who died my cat blue again?
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