Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It was like getting head from an anaconda
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
