Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize