This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
