i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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