your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
