It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
