Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
