GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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