i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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