was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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