He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
