I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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