I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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