We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
