I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
