Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Randomize
