you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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