You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
