i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
