AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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