i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You ruined the universe
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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