talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
