no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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