Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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