You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
