was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Houston, we have a squirter
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
