I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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