Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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