Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
