After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize