just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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