so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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