this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
