Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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