I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
