Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
