ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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