I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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