Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
