last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There r osticjed everywhere
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
