Banned from zoo.
Again?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
