Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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