hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
