Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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