is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
