i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
