i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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