North Korea, Best Korea!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
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