I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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