there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I deserve this hangover.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
