Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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