Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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