he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
