she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
