He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize