I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
