some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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