haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize