How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
