one two three fourrrrnication!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
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