She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
