I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
