fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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